Christmas Eve

On the blackest night

Of winter

On Christmas eve

The stars shone

Bright in the sky

That was the day

You came back to me

Finally

After so long apart

Clumping through the snow

In your wellies

You sang me a love song

A stanza

A warrant of your love for me

We made a snowman

You kissed my frozen fingers

Warmed my cold lips

Sipping mulled wine

We decorated the Christmas tree

And remembered Jesus' birth

Placed a mince pie on the fireplace for santa

And then fell asleep

Bodies pressed together

Limbs entwined

Hopeful for the future.

Waiting for You

How is it that you love me?
You, an adventurer
Me, just an ordinary girl
I think of only you
When I see your picture
On my nightstand
My skewered heart throbs
Waiting for your return
For your kisses
Your scent
Your love
And your stories
Of Pirates and graves.

Lost in Grief

The day my Mum died I walked through the forest opposite my house, sorrowful and distraught, until I came across the wood crafter. He beckoned me closer, and offered me a cheese steak. His silence soothed me. I ate hungrily. I felt like I had seem him somewhere before, and when he pressed a large glass of water into my hands, I realised he was my sensei. I started to speak but he pressed his fingers to my lips and passed me the drink, which I quickly gulped down.

He pointed to the sofa in his shed, a place to sleep, but I shook my head, tears filling my eyes. He brushed the back of his hand across my cheek, his expression, full of understanding. It was too much. I started to run but he caught my hand and pulled me to him, holding me tightly while I sobbed out my grief.

Maria's Unwelcome Visitor

I started writing this story from Story Bandit's dare but it became much longer. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Maria was teaching a watercolour class in her garden in Devon. She and her students were dry under a huge gazebo while all around them it rained heavily. She wandered around as they worked giving her students encouragement. Her eyes widened as she saw her student Joe’s effort.
“Great...initiative,” she said with a smile.
“I'm having struggles,” he said with a sigh.
“You’re doing great, keep going." She touched him lightly on his shoulder

As Maria moved onto her next student David and complimented his work, there was a loud noise and a a motorbike flew through her garden, destroying fences and the flowerbed that her class were painting. Luckily it stopped before anyone was hurt but Maria was furious. What an idiot.

“What the hell are you doing?” she yelled.
The motorcyclist pulled the helmet off to reveal an attractive man with dark skin and short black hair. His eyes were ringed with long eyelashes “Oops. Sorry.”
“You've destroyed my garden,” Maria looked at the muddy mess and felt like crying.
“Like I said, I'm sorry.” he said muttering, “Women,” under his breath.
Maria gasped, “You...you chauvinistic pig,” she said, narrowing her eyes.
“Well help me dislodge my bike and I’ll be out of your way,” he said, rolling his eyes.
Maria stood at the back of the motorbike and pushed as the man started the engine. The bike refused to move, the wheels turned but didn't move forward and muddy spots dotted Maria’s clothes and face.

“Arghhh,” she screamed. “Stop, stop.”
The man laughed under his breath.
“What’s wrong with you?” Maria shook her head.

As she walked away she slid and fell into the muddy puddle around the bike. She screamed as she fell, covering most of her body in the disgusting liquid. She tried to stand up but the mud was slippery and the puddle was growing in size every minute.

“Someone help me,” she asked, and though her students watched her they didn't move. The motorcyclist stepped off his bike. By this time, the wheels were almost completely under water and the rain kept pouring. He held out his hand to her but before she could take it, he slipped too and fell into the puddle next to her. Maria laughed at his shocked face.

He splashed her and she retaliated, not caring any more how cold and wet she was. She threw her head back and laughed. “What’s your name?” she asked when they stopped playing.
“Adam Cooper,” he said extending his hand for her to shake. “What’s your name?”
“Maria Shapna,” she said with a smile. “You can come inside and have a shower if you like.”
“I've caused you enough trouble.” Looking her in the eye he stroked a few strands of her long black hair and tucked them behind her ear. “Can I take you out for dinner sometime?”
“What?” Maria exclaimed. “One minute you laugh at me, the next you ask me out. I'm confused.”
“I guess that didn't help,” Adam chewed his lip. “But look at you, all these men around you_”
“My students. I teach.”
“Just students. Really?" Maria nodded.
“I'm usually not such a jerk. I promise.” A smile flashed across his face. “Just come to dinner with me, or lunch.”
“Will you fix my garden?"
“Yes. I promise,” he said. "I'm sorry I damaged it."
“Thanks. What do you do for a living?”
“I'm a teacher too,” he said.
“What do you teach?”
“Creative writing.”
“You’re a writer?”
“Um...well...I used to be.”
“What do you mean?” Maria asked. 
“Writer’s block,” he sighed. “I just can’t seem to get past it. So, any more questions?” he looked at Maria enquiringly.
“Not at the moment,” she said.
“Are you going to answer my question about going out?”
Maria laughed, and nodded, deciding to give him a chance.
“You are going to answer my question?”
“I just did.” She smiled.

Adam ran his hand across her cheek and she shivered, her heart racing at his touch. He pressed his mouth to hers, and she pulled him closer, until their bodies were touching. When he released her Maria remembered her students. Looking up she saw them painting away, or pretending to.
“Class is over, I'm afraid," she said. "I’ll spend a bit longer with you next week.”

They all gathered their things together and left quickly, Joe stopped a moment, “Do you need some help Maria?” he asked.
“I'm okay. Thanks for the offer Joe. Adam will help me.” Joe nodded, though he didn't look happy, and left.

Turning her attention back to Adam, Maria said, “Come on, I’ll make us coffee if you help me out of here.”
Adam stood up lifting Maria with him and they walked inside.

A home on Venus

A piece of Flash Fiction written from @StoryBandit's dare below. Slightly over 99 words but never mind!!

Deep underground on the planet Venus, away from the constantly erupting volcano's that ravage the planet, two humans survive. The mission, to live and discover more about Venus, was top secret, and now the one man who controlled the experiment from Earth is dead.

Bella coughed, the heat and thick gases were penetrating their sanctuary more every day. “What can we do?” Oxygen levels were diminishing fast. Faster than they could produce more.
Tyler shook his head, “There’s nothing we can do,” he said, his voice rough.
Bella sobbed, but any tears evaporated instantly in the heat of their surroundings. She sat on Tyler’s lap and kissed his chapped lips for the last time.
“I love you,” she said and her words echoed across the planet as the lava tornado broke through the barrier and ravaged their home.

Argument while Running for the Bus

Another story written from one of @storybandit's dares.


“You’re seeing your friends again tonight?” I said, irritation hardening my tone. “Oh shit, the bus is coming.”
We set off running towards the bus stop.
“Only twice this week,” he countered.
“It’s Tuesday,” I yelled swerving around an elderly lady.
“And I’ll spend the other three days with you.”
“Ha. Like that’s gonna happen. You spent one night with me last week. One night,” I shouted, sucking in a deep breath and holding my arm out as the bus flew past us.
“Now you've made me miss the bus.” I said, slowing to a walk. Tears filled my eyes. “Why are you with me if you don’t want to spend time with me?” 
“I...I,” he started.
“See,” I said, my voice breaking. “There’s no point.” I shook my head and walked away. Once I made it to the corner I sat on someone's wall and broke down, sobs racking my body.
A few minutes later I was drying my eyes with a tissue when a hand touched my shoulder. I screamed at the top of my voice, jumping in shock.
“God, it’s just me,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Look, I want to be with you, I just get caught up in what my friends are doing. I'm sorry.”
“You sure you want to be with me?” 
“I'm completely sure,” he said. “Let’s go wait for the bus.” He took my hand.
“What do you want to do tonight?” I asked as we sat at the bus stop.
“Well, like I said, I'm seeing my friends.”

Midnight at an Abandoned Hospital

I wrote this 199 word story using a prompt from @storybandit on twitter. Actually it's a few words over 199 but never mind!

I arrived at the hospital at midnight as agreed with Will. He’s my next door neighbour and best friend. The hospital used to treat patients with mental illness but has been abandoned for years since the government closed it down. To tell you the truth, I'm terrified to go inside, but I can’t tell Will that.

Hearing a noise behind me I screamed, realising too late that it was Will. He laughed.
“Shut up,” I said. Sometimes he can be a right idiot.
“Are we going inside or are you too scared Anna?”
“Let’s go,” I said switching on my torch.

The building was completely dark and smelt musty. Dust covered every surface. We walked along the main corridor to the end where we had to choose to turn right or left. As we turned right a light came on in the left hallway. Adrenaline flooded my body and I gripped the torch tighter in my sweaty hands. Suddenly the corridor lit up and I blinked a few times to get my eyes used to the light. An old man walked towards us, with his arms out. “Who’s there," he asked. “Mavis is that you?"
Was he a ghost? We'll never know, but I'll never forget Will's face as we ran out of there. 

Josie's Brush With Death

I sat in the dingy pub with a group of friends from college, sipping a glass of vodka & coke. The boys sat one side of the table and the girls the other. Feeling Will's eyes on me, I kept my head down, and tried to follow the conversation. Ugh, ever since the party last week, things had been weird between us. Why did I let him kiss me? I wondered.

The girls giggled, whispering non stop about the boys. I gulped down my drink stood up to leave. I swayed a little, that drink must've had more alcohol in it than I'd realised. I stepped out of the pub, it was still light, and walked towards the main road. My bus pulled up on the other side of the road.

"Oh shit," I didn't want to miss this bus. I ran straight into the road towards it.

Before I could move far a hand caught my wrist and pulled me back. A car brushed past me, if I had been any further into the road I would have been killed. He beeped as he passed and swore. Adrenaline surged through my body, I gasped, relieved to be alive, and safe. I twisted around. It was Will, still holding my wrist he pulled me closer, out of the road. I looked into his eyes properly for the first time since the party.

"Thank you. You saved my life." A sob escaped my lips and tears spilled over my eyes.
"Shh," he said, drawing me into his arms.

He held me close as I cried, my head against his chest. He smelled so good, like fresh air. Once sated I peeked up at him, embarrassment blazing on my cheeks. He looked at me and I couldn't read his expression. It wasn't pity though, which I'd been expecting.

"Sorry," I said looking down again. "I've soaked your t-shirt."
"Don't be sorry Josie," He lifted my chin until I looked at him once more. He twisted some strands of my blonde hair in his fingers and tucked them behind my ear. "Can I take you out sometime?"
Taking in his kind light green eyes and scruffy brown hair I nodded, "Yes."

He kissed me then, his lips firm on mine for a moment. It finished too soon. I sighed wistfully and he chuckled for a moment. When I looked at him though his expression was almost fierce and he wiped away the tears under my eyes.

"I'll take you home now." He took my hand.

Eyes Closed

Eyes closed
She was aware
Of every sound
His lips
His kiss
His breath
His heartbeat
The cool water
He dripped into
Her mouth
His fingertips
Exploring
Her curves.

Don't Believe

Rosa's Journey

"And I tackled him...whoosh whoosh," Prince George threw his arms around knocking a dish of vegetables to the ground, with a clatter. The King chuckled and slapped him on the back, "Well done son. You continue to defeat our enemies. I'm very proud." George gave Rosa a smug smile when their father wasn't listening. He had always fought for the King's attention, and won. Now an adult and soldier their father favoured him even more. Servants rushed to pick up the food and dish from the floor. Rosa bit down on her bottom lip, hard, and drew blood. How many times would she have to endure her father's derision for her, for all women. And why did he hate her? Because she was female? She breathed deeply fighting the urge to explode. "Father may I leave the table?" He waved his hand at her, without bothering to look in her direction and without stopping his conversation with her brother about the Crown Championship. She ran to her room and collapsed on the bed, sobbing. "Princess, what can we do?" her servants cried in alarm. "Oh! Your lip!" Rosa shook and sobbed until she was sated as her servants stroked her hair and cleaned the blood from her lip. As she lay awake that night she formed a plan.

The following morning over breakfast she mentioned to her father that she would like to stay with her Aunt for two weeks.

"Fine," he said glancing at her briefly. “But make sure you are back to see your brother win the Crown Championship."
“Of course,” she agreed.

The servants who took care of the horses put the saddle on Hazel, Rosa’s favourite horse and she headed into the forest toward her Aunt’s house. Once hidden by the darkness of the forest she switched directions and headed toward the witch’s house. She finally found it, and tired after riding all day she set up camp about a mile away and spent the night in a tree. The next morning, the sun peeked through the tree tops as she knocked on the door. The door opened with a loud creak though there was no one behind it, just darkness. She shivered, and taking a deep breath she walked inside.

"Your father underestimates you," the witch said, in her high croaky voice. A sob escaped Rosa's lips & her eyes flooded with tears. She fought to regain control of her emotions.
"It's okay dearie," the witch said. The cottage lit up and the witch, who now simply looked like a very short elderly woman patted her arm.
Make me a man," Rosa begged.
"Forever?" the witch asked.
Rosa shrugged. "Woman aren't respected. Especially by my father."
The witch watched her for a few minutes and Rosa felt as though she was looking straight into her soul. "Come with me. I will prepare the spell. You will be a man for two weeks exactly."
"If I'm precise," she said throwing ingredients in a bowl, "You should turn back into a woman after the final of the competition. Oh,” she laughed excitedly, “I will have to be there to see this. Now drink." She pored the liquid into a tumbler and passed it to Rosa who looked at the olive green liquid apprehensively for a moment then gulped down the disgusting mixture.
“Bring in your pack dearie.”
Rosa did so and the witch cast a spell over it. “The change will happen over the next twenty four hours. I can see a little into the future. You will meet someone on your journey who will help you prepare for the Championship and be a lifelong friend.”
Rosa thanked her and rode Hazel until the sky darkened. She settled in a tree to sleep and when she woke, she was a man. She gave herself the morning to get used to her new body and at lunchtime she ran five miles to the nearest river. Stopping as she reached the river she grinned, her male body was made for running. As she was topping up her bottles she heard a voice.

“Hello," She looked up to see an attractive man with dark hair and green eyes close to her also filling her bottles
 "Hi," she replied.
"Do you live here?" he asked.
"No, I'm training for the Championship."
"Me too. I'm Ro..."oops, Rosa thought and added a different ending to her name, "ry."
“James,” he shook her hand. "We could train together if you like?”
Rosa nodded her response.

After a week of training they were both as ready as they could be. Rosa loved training with James. He pushed them both to the limit and she grew to respect him greatly. She began noticing little things about him, the mole under his eye, his scruffy black hair, what made him laugh. Oh no, she realised. I like him too much! She greatly wished she could have met him as herself. Oh well, focus on the competition, she told herself.

They journeyed to the arena two days before the Championship at the Palace. Once there they were given a room to share for the duration of the competition. Rosa was glad when she found out that James was in one of the other seven groups and would only battle each other if they made it to the semi-finals. They cheered each other on as they beat opponent after opponent.

She saw her father with George each day, seated in their thrones at the North end of the arena. George began to take more notice of Rosa, which terrified her. Would he recognise her? He began preparing for the final early each morning, and his level of skill with a sword was incredible. Rosa’s confidence faded somewhat.

Finally the time had come where she must fight James. It was with a heavy heart that she threw the wining attack. She vowed to stay in contact with him and train with him often. She noticed the witch in the arena too, smiling at her and winking as she walked towards George for the final. His arrogant smirk, gave her the motivation to beat him. He was good. Rosa was soon covered in sweat and filth. She heard James shout her name and she was distracted. George sliced her arm. She screamed, as warm blood flowed down her now numb arm, and lunged at him with her other hand again and again, trying to ignore the pain. She caught him on his chin, and blood poured from the wound. When she heard the whistle sound she fell to the floor, and drifted into unconsciousness.

Medics ran to her, checking her over and bandaging her wounds. She came round, some time later, she didn't know how long she had been unconscious for. They just kept telling her that she had won. The following day, she was brought before the King and in front of all the other competitors she was given her prize, a huge bag full of gold. She thanked him, bowing before him and as she did her body begin to change.

The King gasped in shock. "Rosa?"
"Yes father," she curtsied.
"I don't understand," he said, shaking his head. "You really did it, you're amazing," he said pulling her into a hug. "I love you."
Rosa sobbed and then laughed. “I love you too Father." Finally she pulled out of the hug.
"I underestimated you," he said with a shake of his head, looking into her eyes, properly, for the first time.


Later, she found James. "Hi," she said ruefully.
They hugged.
“I feel so confused,” he confessed with a shake of his head, “I felt something for you that didn't make sense. Does that sound strange?”
“Not when you've been through what I've been through,” she smiled though tears filled her eyes. “I feel something for you too, I have since we met.”
"Is your arm okay?" he touched it gently.
"I'll live."
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I’d love to see you again Rosa. Would that be okay?"
"Yes," she said with a grin as he drew her into his arms.

Your Hands

Us

Why is it
That we see
The worst
In ourselves?
Stare at our faces
And wish
For a different face
Or body?
Instead
Let's throw away
Airbrushed pictures
Of perfect celebrities
And live life
Remembering that
We are all unique
And created wonderfully
In God's image.

Liz and Ed

I've been writing a romance chain story on twitter. I have combined it (and tweaked it a little). I hope you enjoy it. What do you think? You can follow me on @libbysstories if you like. I use it for writing and a break from the chaos of my main account :)

It was afternoon, the heat of the day intense. Sweat beaded on Liz’ forehead as she picked roses, & placed them in the basket. "Hi," the worker next to her said and she nodded in greeting. He caught her attention,and she smoothed her hair glancing at him. Liz felt a sudden pain as a thorn ripped through her hand, "Shit," she exclaimed as thick red blood ran down her hand.

"We'd better clean this," the worker said. "No, I won't get paid_" Liz started but he emptied his basket of flowers into hers. "Now let's go." He wrapped an arm around her waist and carried her basket in his other hand, "Can I ask your name?"  "It's Liz," she said, "And you?" She asked distracted by the gold flecks in his dark, almost black eyes. "Ed." "I can't take these flowers Ed." "Shh, let's get your hand fixed."

They headed into the farmhouse and he cleaned her hand, gently so it barely hurt, before applying a bandage. "All done," he smiled. "Mary, I'm taking Liz home, she's filled a basket," Liz heard Ed say from another room. Her hand throbbed steadily. Liz felt herself falling, and a strong pair of arms catch her, "Got you," he whispered. I'm taking you home." "No Ed." she said clinging to him.

"Your husband will be worried." He glanced at her. "I'm not married." Your wife won't like you carrying me." Liz said watching him. "No," his eyes glittered mischievously. "Hmm," she said and she stood again. "I just felt a bit light headed." "I'll take you home now,” he said, “Oh and I'm not actually married," he smiled widely. "Oh. Thanks for clearing that up," Liz said. “Could you drop me at the coffee shop, I don't quite feel myself." Ed looked at her, “You do look pale," he commented and wrapped am arm around her.

"You didn't have to join me," Liz said half an hour later as they sipped on hot tea and munched scones with cream. "I was worried." Ed smiled as Liz's cheeks regained their rosy colour. “And I'm enjoying your company. Oh your bandage needs redoing," he said. A circle of blood had seeped through the white bandage. "Um." "What is it?"

Be brave, Liz whispered to herself for she was enjoying his company and didn't want to leave him. "Would you like to have dinner with me?" "Tonight, I mean," Liz added. " I'd love to, " he smiled and Liz grinned herself. He was charming and she was looking forward to spending more time with him.  "I'll do your dressing before we go," he said.

Liz opened the door of her cottage to meaty smells. The slow cooker lid was full of condensation. "Do you live here alone?" Ed asked. "I moved her two years ago to care for my Gran. She died last year. This place is a bit big for me but it has so many memories."

"Would you mind chopping salad?" Ed chopped while Liz added dumplings to the stew. "This looks and smells wonderful," Ed said. They sat at the kitchen table to eat and Liz poured wine. "Where do you live?" "In a caravan, about twenty miles from here. I move every season when work dries up in one place." "How long will you stay here?" "Till all the flowers are picked, most of summer." He shrugged. "Are you happy here?" "That's a difficult question." Liz smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. A tear trickled down her face. "Wanna talk about it?" Ed asked. She shook her head.

Ed cupped his hand around her cheek and wiped the tear with his thumb. Liz put their plates into the dishwasher. “Could you check my cut again, it’s really painful," she said. Ed removed the dressing. The gash was red and shiny, the gash was red and shiny, there was pus in the centre. "This doesn't look good. We need to go to A&E." He lifted Liz into his arms and carried her into his car.

"I forgot, it's late," Liz said as they drove, "I should let you go home." "Not a chance," Ed said as he sped up the narrow country lanes. Liz drifted off to sleep as Ed drove. Only waking when Ed opened the passenger door and crouched down next to her. She shivered, her whole body shaking. Ed shrugged off his jumper and helped Liz into it. "Thanks," she said. Ed lifted Liz into his arms again but she resisted, telling him she was fine.

Ed smiled, “So stubborn,” he muttered, cradling Liz closer. Her long dark hair blew in the breeze, and he smoothed it down placing a kiss on her head. Liz' cut wasn't considered particularly serious so they waited to be seen, Liz curled up next to him, her good arm wrapped around him. "Can you believe we just met today?" he asked. She barely stirred & her forehead was much warmer than usual. "Nurse, we need to be seen NOW”, he shouted.

Liz woke to find a nurse smoothing down her bedsheets. "Where am I?" "Your boyfriend brought you. You had an infection," she said. Liz looked over at Ed asleep his neck twisted in the chair. "He was very forceful. He said she must be seen," nurse said indulgently. Liz giggled. "I said exactly that," Ed chuckled stretching, "You okay darlin?" Liz patted the bed and shifted over. "Sure?" he frowned. "Sure." Ed perched on the end of the bed. "I want to thank you, for everything really," she said. "It's nothing.” He touched her arm. “I'm just glad you're okay."

"I want to take you somewhere today," Ed said. "Where?" Liz asked. "A surprise," he grinned. An hour later Liz was released with Antibiotic's for the week and they set off. "Close your eyes," Ed said smiling as they arrived. "No cheating," he said as he helped her out of the car and linked fingers with her. "Where are we?" Liz asked, distracted by the feeling of her hand in Ed's. "You can open them now."

Ed released Liz’ hand and stroked her shoulders as she took in the site of a large caravan. "This is where you live?" Liz asked. "Yes, come in." Once inside Ed opened windows to let in some air. "Would you like a drink?" Liz nodded and Ed poured two glasses of chilled white wine. "What do you think?" he asked taking a sip of wine. "'What do you like about living this life?" "Being able to move around. Freedom," he answered.

Ed took Liz's hand in his and stroked along her fingers. "Stay with me for a couple of days?" "I don't want to leave you_" "But?" Liz laughed, her sea green eyes sparkling. "Let's just say, I don't want to move too fast." She watched Ed. "Okay." He nodded. "I'll sleep up there," he pointed to a small space. "Okay?" "Okay, I'll stay for a day or two," Liz agreed. The next morning Ed drove Liz home to collect a suitcase and then they drove to the sea, arriving close to lunchtime.

Ed took Liz's hand as they walked to a cafe for lunch and she realised how quickly she had grown to love his company. Was it really only three days since they had met, she wondered.
Later that day they sat on the beach watching the sun set. "I'm glad you're here with me," Ed said. He touched his lips to Liz'. "Me too," she whispered, savouring the impression of his lips on hers.

The next morning over breakfast Ed asked, "What do you want to do today?"
"Get to know you better," Liz said sipping tea. They walked along the beach, barefoot, sea water running over their feet. "What do you want to know?" Ed asked linking hands with Liz. "Well I don't even know your surname." "My full name is Edward Robert Sanderson You?." "Elizabeth," Liz stuck her tongue out. "I hate my forename," she said narrowing my eyes. "What were my parents thinking!" she said rolling her eyes. "What’s the rest of your name?" "Swan." "That’s lovely," Ed smiled. "Lizzie Swan, I'm glad to know you." "And you Eddie," Liz chuckled. "Oh dear. Let's agree, no nicknames?" he said. "Agreed," They shook hands.

"Any more questions?" Ed asked. "I feel like I know you well, then I realise we've only known each other three days." "Stay then." "You said two days, you will take me home?" Liz's eyes widened. "Please stay, get to know me better." Liz shook her head. She pulled her hand out of his and walked away. He watched her walk away. “What have I done?” he muttered. Liz threw her clothes into a suitcase and caught a bus home. What had she been thinking trusting a guy she hardly knew. She shook her head, telling herself to stop being so naive.

The following day, Liz opened her front door to Ed. "I'm so sorry Liz, I should have just taken you home, please forgive me," he said. "Go away," Liz said, her voice cracking, her lips mashed into a hard line. "Liz, I'm truly sorry," Ed said. "Just leave me alone," she said, though the tears that gathered in her eyes betrayed her. She brushed them away as they ran down her cheeks. "I miss you so much Liz," he said. "Please just go away," she said, closing the door on him. She returned to work two days later. She caught his eye but quickly looked away. The next day Ed was waiting for her He said “Good morning," but she ignored him and walked away. Liz wondered when he would go, move on. The last thing she needed was another man who didn't keep his promises.

When Liz arrived home that night there was a hand written letter waiting for her. "Liz, please forgive me," it began. "I am deeply regretful about the way I acted. Please give me another chance to earn your trust, on your terms." Tears landed on the page as Liz read on, "I care about you too much to give up. Please give me a chance to make amends."

The next day at work Ed was waiting for Liz once more. "Hi," he said. "Hi," she said walking past him. He placed an arm in her way stopping her. "Meet me later at the bakery this afternoon?" "I don't want to forgive you, I've been let down before." Her lips trembled & her eyes filled with tears. "I'm leaving tomorrow." "So why do you care, you said you were moving on anyway?" Liz screwed up her face. "I would stay for you,” he said pain causing his voice to crack. "I can't trust you," she said. "Just give me one more chance to show you that you can."

She shook her head, brushing away stray tears. "Just go, move on. I can't give you what you want." She cycled home in floods of tears. The next morning Liz called Mary to let her know she wouldn't be at work. "Don't worry love," Mary said. "See you when you feel better." Liz tried to relax but her mind wouldn't let her. Instead she relived the time with Jon when she was eighteen.

Long buried heartbreak resurfaced and Liz grieved again for her aborted baby. And Jon. Disappearing straight after the abortion. Liz was so caught up in her grief that she didn't hear the doorbell ring again and again. Ed pressed his weight against the door which finally gave way, he ran to Liz who was curled up on the floor and sank down on his knees in front of her and wrapped his arms around her. "I heard," he said out of breath. "I realised_"

Liz clung to Ed sobbing until she was cried out and calm once more. "I'm a mess," she said wiping her eyes ineffectively with her fingers. “No,” said Ed, “You needed to let go. Can I get you anything?” He brought make-up removal wipes which she asked for and a cup of tea that she hadn't. Liz cleaned her face, embarrassed that Ed had seen her in the worst possible way. She looked at him.

He was watching her, his eyes revealing his concern. "Thanks for coming. I'm sorry you saw me like that." "I'm glad you let me in," he touched her forehead. "You heard about what Jon did?" He nodded. "I haven’t really recovered from what he did. I tarred you with the same brush. Sorry." "I won't treat you like that." He stroked Liz' cheek. "I promise to take care of you on your terms until I've earned your trust." Liz smiled, "Thank you Ed." She moved into his open arms and wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him.

The Orchard

I noticed him on my first day's work at the Orchard in Provence that summer. He was tall, with dark hair that looked almost black and dark eyes ringed with long lashes. I found myself looking over at him time and time again for attraction had me tensing my stomach. It wasn't until a week later, that I found myself working next to him. We picked fruit until the bell announced break time.

I gulped down my water, for the heat was oppressive, looking bereft at my empty bottle, for I knew I would have to work thirsty until lunch. "Here?" he said throwing me a bottle. "Cold?" I exclaimed, "How did you do that?"

"Look," he said, pointing to his bag, there were solar panels on the outside and a mini cooler inside. "That's ingenious," I said pressing the bottle to my forehead cooling myself. "This job leaves plenty of time for thinking of ideas Elisa," he said. "How do you know my name?" I asked. "People talk, especially men about girls they like," he said, looking over at the other workers. My cheeks instantly reddened. "What's your name?" I asked. "Joe."

The bell sounded then and we returned to work. After lunch, I brought two bottles of water with me. "Give them to me," he said before I could ask him to store them for me. We worked until the afternoon break and we gulped our water down quickly. "Would you like to spend the day with me tomorrow?" he asked. "What did you have in mind?" I asked smiling. "Just dress for cycling," he said.

The next morning I met him with plenty of water in my pack. He held his hands out for my water and packed into his cooler. "I thought we could cycle around Avignon, I've heard it's a beautiful city." "Let's go then," I said with a smile. Chiding myself I realised all I did was smile in his company.

We cycled inside the city walls all morning, stopping only to take pictures and quench our thirst. At midday we found a place to sit next to the river Rhone. Joe took out a blanket which he lay down for us to sit on and unpacked a picnic for us to eat.

"What do you do when you're not working here Elisa?" Joe asked biting into a juicy tomato. "This and that. Any job I can get," I shrugged. "And you?" "I make things to sell, like the water cooler. I may stay here and find a shop that will sell them." He reached over and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Elisa, I would like to see you again," he said, his eyes fixed on mine. "I would like that," I smiled. "You are so beautiful my Elisa," he said drawing me into his arms. He flicked his tongue over his lips before pressing them to mine. We lay on the blanket, kissing, and talking until the sun set.

The Assistant

A policeman stood outside my door. I opened the door again to check again that he was still there, and he smiled at me, his white teeth shining bright against his skin, "Still here." I closed the door again and walked to the window. What bad luck, a weekend in the Caribbean and I was stuck in my room. I poured two glasses of rum & coke and took one out to him. "Can I sit with you for a bit?" I asked. "You really shouldn't Ma'am." "I'm so bored and lonely," I said sipping my frothy drink. "Why would anyone want to hurt me?" "I don't know," he watched me, pity on his face. I rested my head on his shoulder peeking at him through my lashes, "Keep me company?"

Fear constricts
My heart
Help me
My rock
My fortress
Let me shelter
Under your wing
Hold me
Fill me
With your
Everlasting
Peace
I pray.

Writing Fiction 3

The heavy black and blue winter sky groaned awfully with rain clouds that at any moment were really about to fall crashing heavily down upon the street where, because it was rush hour, so many people, wearing all manner of different clothes, hats, shoes, boots, some of them carrying bags, suitcases, briefcases, scampered and strolled about the place as though oblivious to what was just about to happen over their very heads. One of these people was called Hilary and concealed inside her voluminous coat she carried the loaded, snub-nosed gun, and she also seemed to be the only one looking upwards into the tempestuous thundery heavens.


Edited version:

The black sky groaned with rain clouds that at any moment were about to fall, because it was rush hour, many people strolled about the place completely oblivious as to what was about to happen.

One of these people was Hilary and concealed inside her voluminous coat was a loaded gun, and she seemed to be the only one looking up into the thundery heavens.

A tumbler of Sorrow

She drank
The whisky
In one gulp
A tumbler
Full of sorrow
At her husband's
Wake
Her right hand
Usually
Clasped
In his
Bereft.

Wings

I would love
To have wings
To soar
Through
Wispy clouds
Dive into
Cool waters
Be free.

Her stormy Emotions

Her stormy
Emotions
Violent
And sudden
Her eyes
Truly were
A window
Into her soul
One moment
Black
Before clearing
Into sky blue

His Dashing Smile

I was charmed
Instantly
By his dashing smile
The sparkle
In his grey eyes
So full of life
And laughter
He was my love
My only love.

Lock and Key

My Heart
Kept
Under
Lock and key
Only those
Who truly
Love me
Are
Entrusted
With
A key.

Update

Finally I am writing fiction again. I've really missed it and I came up with a great idea today which maybe I should develop further rather than turning it into a short story. It's very exciting.

Breaking Out

Somehow
I have
Closed
Myself off
From others
Afraid to risk
Closeness
To be
Completely
And
Authentically
Myself
Shyness
A barrier
To freedom
To express
Myself
How can
I break out?

Writing Fiction 2B

Emma said that she had cooked too much and that I should come round and help her eat it. I agreed, my cupboards were bare and I had already been considering ordering a takeaway. Emma and I lived next door and as I made my way to her front door my stomach gurgled at the meaty smells that surrounded the area.
"Come in," she said kissing me on both cheeks. "Now I'd better get back into the kitchen John is in the lounge, with our friend Greg," she winked and pushed me towards the open door. I raised my eyes, with an annoyed breath. Now that Emma and our other friend, who lived a couple of miles away in Hove had married, I was rarely invited anywhere with them without being set up. My patience was close to snapping as I had expressed on a few occasions, with care so as not to cause offence that I did not need setting up. Taking a moment to calm down I walked into the room and introduced myself to Greg.

Writing Fiction 2A

Emma said that I should definitely meet him. Him was the guy who had sent me a text a few days ago. I frowned at the thought and I felt my insides clench with nerves. You see I am useless at relationships. Relationships need openness and communication, and I have neither of these. My sister calls me a closed book and I hate arguments. I'm someone who will make peace however I can rather than face an argument or discussion.

Writing Fiction 2

She settles onto the sofa and starts her laptop, preparing to write. She has her notepad where she's written ideas that day and she begins to type, absorbed completely in the afternoon silence. A space where she is alone to think about what she's doing, take a sip of tea and a bite of food from time to time.

She sits in the cafe, it's a busy lunchtime so she has to share her table with someone else and squeezed in she types, trying to ignore the chatter around her. Unable to focus she people watches instead, and heads home at the end of the day, with no progress.

Writing Fiction 1C

He followed her, not too close, he thought to himself nervously. This mission was so important. His first assignment since his training and employment with MI6. If he failed, his career as a spy would be over. He would do anything to avoid that after all his hard work. He had been working towards this for most of his adult life after realising quickly that he wasn't suited to a nine to five, steady job. The woman he was following stopped at the coach stop, clutching her ticket in her hand. This matched the details he had been supplied with. These were now burnt. Part of his training had been in memory. He found a seat and opened his newspaper, turning the page now and again but not really reading it. He glanced at his target from time to time, wondering what a woman like her could have done. He sighed quietly, regretting that train of thought. His job was to follow orders, not to wonder why. It was a cold, drizzly day so he was thankful for his winter jacket, red scarf and hat. He studied the target again. He thought she was about thirty, with an attractive face, and long brunette hair. She was tall and despite the fact she wore skinny jeans, she looked elegant. Looking up he caught her glance and she smiled. It completely lit up her face. He smiled a quick smile in return that didn't quite reach his eyes and let his gaze move away. His heart finally slowed when he glanced back at her. She was looking towards the road. He resolved not let this happen again. Just then the coach arrived. He carefully folded his paper and stood in line. He bought a ticket in his turn and found a seat two rows behind his target on the other side, where he could see her clearly. Relaxing slightly he breathed out, he now had two hours until the coach would arrive and he would complete his part in this mission.

Writing Fiction 1A

I sat on a bench near to the beach while I was waiting to view a property and he sat next to me. His azure eyes sparkled like the sea when he smiled at me and asked me if he could take me for coffee. I agreed completely affected by his presence and he took my hand in his as we walked to the coffee shop. It felt strange but his hand felt good in mine.

Writing Fiction 1

Three fact One Fiction

When I was twenty one I appeared on television with my Mum and Granny for a makeover. We were asked onto the show because we had all graduated in the same year. It was terrifying! The show was set in Manchester so I was flown up there early that morning to meet Mum and Granny who had stayed over the night before. At the end of the day they gave us the clothes that they had styled us in and a huge hamper of beauty products.

Complications

Life is so complicated
Men sometimes
Take me out
Then change their mind
So quickly
Hurtfully
Should I protect myself
Or stay
Open to love?

Cycling

Gritting my teeth
I pedal slowly
Up the steepest hills
In Brighton
Face red
Through exertion.

Superpower

As the night
Drew in
She lifted
Into the sky
Spun in circles
Skin tingling
In the cool air
A grin
Of pleasure
On her face.

Truth or Dare

He asks me
Truth or dare
I wonder
Should I risk all
And reveal the truth
Or humiliation
In a dare?

Rain

Curled up
With hot tea
I watch the rain.

Chiseled Truth

His jaw chiseled
Truth, she wondered
If he ever spoke
Yet he exuded
A seductive charm
She was powerless
To resist him.

Shades of Love

She had never before
Experienced
Shades of love
Like this
Her heart
Ached
With the sheer
Depth of feeling.

Clumsy

I trip
And you
catch me
Every time
Maybe
It's time
For me
To catch you
For once?

Svelte

He placed
His hands
Around her
Svelte waist
She felt safe
In his arms
Leaning against him
She fluttered
Her eyelashes

Fiery Salsa

He held her close
For a moment
Before releasing her
Into a spin
Hips swaying
Hypnotically
Stepping
Faster
Faster
A fiery salsa.

Little Red Dress

He unzipped
Her little red dress
Let it fall to the floor
Taking her in his arms
He said, "I've been waiting
all night to do that."

Silk Scarf

She knotted
Her silk scarf
Around her neck
So that he could
Find her
Her first date
Since her lifelong love
Had passed away.

Cycling

My feet pedal
Energetically
As I race
Down the hill
Cheeks red
A smile of joy
Lighting up my face.

Scarf

She took
A silk scarf
And covered his eyes
Enjoying his
Amused smile
For a moment
Until he drew
Her into a kiss
His fingers
Tracing her curves.

Twilight

I wrote this poem about Bella and Edward for a poetry prompt.

Another of my favourite stories.

Narnia

I wrote two poems to this picture prompt yesterday. See them below.

Fingers trailing

Along the rail

She walked

Upstairs

Lost in

Old memories

Her childhood

The years

Spent here

During the war.

Lucy ran upstairs

Excitedly

Searching

For a wardrobe

Ignoring shouts

To be quiet

On the top floor

At the end of

The corridor

There it was

She pulled

The handle

And stepped inside

A warm breeze

Washed over her face

Smiling

She walked forward

Into Narnia...

Confidence

Fighting
Crashes
Of confidence
Gritting my teeth
I keep moving
Step after step
Refusing to
Give in
As I
Chase
My dreams.

Rain

We sit
Cosy and warm
Indoors
Slipping tea
Watching raindrops
Slowly drip
Down the window.

She jumps
Into all
The puddles
Muddy and soaked
To the skin
Raindrops
Soaking into
Her clothes
Not a care
In the world.

Family

My eyes
Prick with tears
When I meet
People
With such
Supportive parents
Why did mine
Have to move
Halfway
Across the world
And leave me
Behind.

Find Me

If you want to find me
Look in the shadows
The quiet corner
Where no one
Will notice me
In the words
I share
Through poetry.

I bide my time
Waiting
Living life
To the full
Waiting for him
To find me.

Midnight Whispers

Awake till past midnight
Whispering gossip
And secrets
Eating sugary treats
A midnight feast.

Midnight whispers
Between siblings
As they excitedly
Await
Santa's arrival.

Midnight whispers
Grow louder
As we tug
The duvet
Back and forth
A daily struggle
Where no one wins.

Frayd Tag Publishers

I found out last night that both the poems I sent to Frayd Tag Publishers (https://twitter.com/FraydTagPub) are being published as part of their poetry project. They sent me a sample page of My Knight which you can see below. They only announced four people that have been included so far so I feel honoured to be one of them.

My Dad

Time with my Dad
Slips through my fingers
As dementia ransacks
His brain
Destroying synapses
Stealing him
Away from me.

Time

Life flies by
Time
Slipping through my fingers
Speeding
Unstoppable
I must
Remember
To enjoy
The journey.

Treasure

He swings her around

His precious

Precious daughter

Rejoicing in her laughter

Protecting her

When she's in danger

Allowing her the freedom

She craves

Always there

With open arms

When she turns to him

His treasure.

Friends

You lavish me
With kind hugs
And thoughtful words
You intoxicate me with love
In your presence
Thank you sweet friends.

Faceless Enemy

A faceless enemy

Is destroying the earth

Precious resources

Used recklessly

And many seek

Money and power

Over happiness

Let's restore balance.

Grief

Her captive heart

Trapped by grief

She struggled

To escape it's grasp

To no avail

All she could do

Was ride it out.

Condensed Heaven

Her lips met his
His hand brushing
Along the soft skin
Of her arm
And into her hair
Before releasing her
A moment
Of condensed heaven.

Passion

Passion burned bright
Yet they expressed it
Sensuously
Precise movements
A slow
Long
Burn.

Strength

I act strong
Yet tears
Express my weakness
I try to stay firm
Yet my shoulders buckle
I pretend I'm okay
Yet I feel broken.

Eyes Spilling Secrets

He grabbed her arms roughly
"Let go of me," she begged
Her wide eyes
Spilling secrets
And tears
She wondered
If she'd ever
Escape him.

You

You hold me tightly

Promise never to leave

Or let me go

Whatever happens

I love spending time with you

You

Whenever I think of you
A hair-trigger smile
Flashes across my face
Filling my heart with joy.

Peace

Exhausted but happy
At peace
Relief
That the decision
Has been made

Twilight

The day draws to a close

An array of colour

Lights up the sky

Against the twilight

Inspiring imagination.

My Knight

My knight
Appears whenever I call
Charging to my rescue
On a white horse
He holds me tightly
Laughs with me
Wipes away my tears
Promises he will never
Stray far from me.

Tango

Her leg brushed against his
As they danced
The Argentine tango
A spark passed
Between them
He embraced her
More closely
As the intensity
Of the dance grew

Mid Summer's Dream

She woke up
Next to him
Memories playing on her mind
How they'd lain
In the long grass
A mid-summer's dream
Fallen asleep
Wrapped in each other's arms

Masked Ball

Another poem written for a poetry challenge on twitter.

Hiding behind the masks we wear

Dancing the tango

At the masquerade ball

He held me tight

Dipped me

Strong and assertive

Safe in his arms.

Innocence

Innocence still lingers
Within me
Refusing to be destroyed
By cynicism
Heart ache and life experience.

Struggles

Nobody sees
My struggles
My tears
How close I am
To losing it
That I'm a mess
They just see
The smiles
I wear
Around them.

Responsibility

Fear burns
A path down my chest
Into my stomach
Enough of adulthood
And responsibilities
Take me back
To carefree times.

Smile

A hint of a smile
Lit up her face
Bright
Like the sun
He was captivated.

Poetry Challenge

Phrase: fragile like glass
Word: Translucent

Her eyes
Clear azure
Translucent in their openness
He could almost see
Through them
The cracks in her heart
Fragile like glass.

Hurt

Heartbreak
Hurt
And loss
The ache in my heart
A physical pain
Struggling
To find the right words
To express
And find healing.

Word and Letters

Words and letters
Released
As I exhale
Always jotting
Scribbling
Typing
And tapping
Even now
As I skip
My beauty sleep.

Treadmill

The treadmill of life
Speeds
Faster
Faster
Afraid to jump
No one to catch me
Afraid to slip
Or fall
And become
A splattered mess
On the ground.

Mother and Baby

She licked

Her baby clean

Teaching

Life skills

While still time

Noses touching

Sharing scents

And love.

Escape

She just ran

Into the forest

No idea where she was heading

Breathing heavily

Eyes streaming

To escape

The man

Who had held her fragile heart

In his hands

And crushed it
Into a million pieces.

My Nephews

It's always a joy
To see my beautiful nephews
Who I love dearly
They clamber
Into bed with me
Early
Whenever I stay
Full of life and energy
Bouncing on the lilo
Reading a story
Or telling me about their world.
Despite the early start
I relish every moment.

How I wish
I could see inside your soul
Find the essence of who you are
Quench the fear
That you will crush my heart
Be confident
In you.

Stamping cardboard
Shredding paper
Tossing rubbish
Ancient memories
Bring smiles
As I touch
And smell
Belongings
From my past.

He always knew
When to hold her
When to let her cry
When to make her laugh
When to kiss her
So that she forgot
Everything but him.

He was
Her lover
Her best friend
Her family
Her everything
Until the day he walked away
And left her with nothing.

Hurt

Heart break

Hurt

And loss

The ache in my heart

A physical pain

Struggling

To find the right words

To express

And find healing.

As she walked towards him
She chuckled
As she remembered
The day they met
Catching her
As she tripped
Holding her tight in his strong arms
His solid body
The cheeky sea green smile
Charming her instantly
She reached him
The same grin
Eyes twinkling
She inhaled his familiar scent
Hands linked
As they said
I do.

Belonging

Do I really belong
In this crazy world?
Was I meant for a simpler time?
Did my soul get lost and misplaced?
Too sensitive
Quiet
Gentle
My reactions too strong
Tears flow too easily
Too weak
Fragile and easily hurt
Still trying to find my place here.

He

He wiped the tears from her eyes
Kissed away the sadness
Rejoiced in her smiles
Laughed when she laughed
Held her when she was tired
Carried her to bed
Swore never to leave her
He only had eyes for her.

Stars

She lay
Gazing up at the stars
Soaking in the fresh fragrance
He intertwined his fingers
With hers
Drew her into his arms
She inhaled his wonderful scent
Held him close
The stars forgotten.

Names

They shouted names at me

As I walked down the street

Left me ashamed

Of being me

Too ashamed

To tell my parents

She called me stupid

When helping with my homework

Yet I was top of my class

He told me

I was attractive......for a redhead

They told me to wear more make up

Please think

Before you

Make a comment

About someone

On the lifelong

Impact

Your words

Have

I've come to terms

With they way I look

For some reason

God made me this way

But I 

Struggle every day

To build my

self esteem

And confidence.

More Fire Poems

I've fallen in love with this watercolour painting by Maurice Stevens (See his website: http://www.mauricestevens.co.uk/) I just love the colours. Anyway I wrote a poem about the West Pier in Brighton.

The West Pier burns
Decrepit and old
A metal ruin
Though still beautiful

Other poems:

Cheeks on fire
Hot
Shyness
Appearing
Once again
To make life difficult.

Fear burns bright
In my chest
My breath quickens
And my hands become clammy
Only your touch
Soothes me.

Fire

The new micropoetry theme was revealed today: Fire.

So here are some of the poems I have written on this theme.

Flames lick
At the edge of the photograph
Hiding forever
The undesired images
Beneath.

His lips
Left a trail of fire
As they journeyed
Around her body.

The amber in her eyes
Shone like fire
When she laughed
It lit a spark in his heart
He vowed never to leave her.

The sun on my skin
Feels hot
I keep glancing
At my pale complexion
Hoping I won't burn
But adoring the warmth
Nonetheless.

Childhood

She watched her father hit her mother

She watched her mother covering her bruises with make up

She heard the arguing

As she sat in her room

With her hands covering her ears

She saw her mother collapsed on the floor unconscious

She remembered learning at school

How to call for an ambulance

She called

They took her and her mother away

Somewhere safe

Eventually she learned to play

To have fun

Not to be afraid.

My world's

In the dull world
Of logic and numbers
Creativity breaks through
Where there was grey
Now a rainbow
Of colour
Fills it's place.

Reflections

She stared into the still water

At her reflection

Wondering why

She was unable to erase

The images engraved in her mind

The sight of him

In bed

With her

Her best friend

Angry tears filled her eyes

She seized hold 

Of a large stone

Which she flung into the water

With a scream.

Sunlight

The sun streams through the window

Basking the room

In golden rays

Soothing those it touches

Bringing smiles to their faces.

Paddling

Laughing they ran down the beach

Hand in hand

Threw off their shoes

And let the cool water

Wash over their feet.

Thoughts

I often wonder
When or if
I will meet that special person
The one I will share my life with
Or whether I'm destined
To always be alone.

Mirror Image

He stood behind her
Lightly caressing her shoulders
As she looked into the mirror
So beautiful, he said
Pressing his lips to the base of her neck
She looked down
How could she believe his words
When everything she saw in the mirror
Told her otherwise.

Hopes and Dreams

Take control of your life
Dream BIG
Plan for the future you hope for
You are never too old
To see dreams fulfilled.

The Broken Mirror

She stared at the broken pieces of mirror
That resembled the fragments of her broken heart
Wondering how to fix it, to heal
Instead she tried something different
A mosaic
Each piece was a memory
A hurt from the past
As she placed them
She found peace.

Moon Poems

There's been a theme for Micropoetry this week on twitter which is The Moon. That's why I've been writing moon poems all week. I wrote two more today, but as they were quite similar I've added my favourite below. Next week's theme is Mirrors. If you want to join in see https://twitter.com/pssms.


The full moon
Shining like silver
In the black sky
Lit up
Her porcelain features
As she fled
Through the forest
To find a new life.

Dreams

I yawn as I head to bed
After a tiring and stressful day
Hoping that dreams
Will take me far away
From reality
For a little while

Escape

They lay on a deserted beach
He ran his fingers through her hair
His lips touching hers
Tasting salty sea air
Their tangled limbs
Lit up
By a full moon.

The moon

She held his hand
Smiling
A first date
Under the light
Of a full moon
He leaned closer
And they kissed.

Milly

I hold her warm body in my arms
She clings to me
Her claws cutting into my skin
I run my fingers through her hair
She purrs contentedly
We touch noses
A kiss.

Life

An old man I saw on the bus today
Hunched and slowly shuffling to his seat
Reminded me
That I should run, skip and dance
To use my body
While I still can.

Sarah

At church we are looking at Hebrews 11 which is about faith and people of faith so I've written a poem about Sarah who's story is in Genesis. I may have to read it on Sunday (Eek!)

I looked down at my hands

Wrinkled, spotted, and old

A baby? At my age?

How I laughed.

But now as I hold my baby boy

In my arms

I thank God for

Fulfilling his promises

Looking up I spot Hagar

Ruffling Ishmael’s hair

Smiling that smug smile

Oh how I hate that smile

I narrow my eyes

And a bitter taste fills my mouth

So angry

At myself, for not waiting

At Abraham

God

Everyone.

Isaac stretches and yawns in my arms

Tiny and vulnerable

I vow to find a way for him to be

Abraham’s heir.

A Poem about meeting Tyler James on 13th July 2013

Every time I switch on my phone

And see the picture

Of you and me

I smile

And remember

That hot summer’s night

Where we met

Nervously we all waited

Looking into the crowd

Awaiting your arrival

Finally we spotted you

Walking towards us

So tall with your quiff

And precious pictures were taken

Nervously I tried to string words together

But found none

Just smiling

What I remember and miss most

About that day

Is your wonderful hugs

Loved Ones

I type on my keyboard all day
Tired and often stressed
But when I look up
And see your picture
I smile
The pressure dissipates
For a moment

Estate Agents

Smoothly they apply the pressure
Softly so that you hardly notice at first
But suddenly you become aware that
Your shoulders are weighed down
A frown furrows your brow
And sighs break forth from your lips

If you dare
to choose against them
Like a snake they lash out and bite
Instantly spotting your weakness

So beware
Shield yourself
Lift your chin high
Stare them in the eye
And Say NO.

Memories

Cherishing memories as they slowly fade

Will he forget me one day?

My heart aches as I see him suffer

I cling to my rock, to hope

Fleeting phone calls, expressing love

Across the world, so far away

Salty tears flow down my face

As I cry, please don't forget me.

The Grosvenor Twins Part 2

"Morning," Josh said turning on the bedside lamp in our bedroom, "I've made you breakfast."

"Thanks Josh," I said sitting up in bed and running my hands through my messy long hair to tidy it.

"You look perfect," he said kissing me on my cheek and sitting the tray on my lap, "Eat up. By the way I'm working from home today, shall we have lunch together?"

"Sounds good," I said taking a bite of toast and wondering if I would make it back from David's by then.

Waking up was always strange, I felt fine until a few moments later I would remember how I had lost my sister and grief would hit me, a physical pain in my heart. Some days I only felt anger towards my twin who had suggested 'one last prank' and had died leaving me to sort out the mess. Clara and I had swapped places in each other's lives a day before she carelessly crossed the road without looking and had been killed almost instantly.

I had seen no solution to the situation I was stuck in when Clara died, I was stuck in the role of Josh's girlfriend so I grieved for the loss of my husband as well as my sister. I spend most of my time with David though, and we grieving together as well as going through my belongings. Clara and David had never been close but he grew close with the girl he thought was Clara. It broke my heart to see him hurting but as his sister in law I could comfort him and help him. And I wouldn't lose him from my life.

I ate the breakfast that Josh had made me and after a shower I walked to David's house. That morning we listened to my favourite music as we went through, and mostly threw out, books. I remembered, only as I arrived back home early that evening, Josh suggesting us having lunch together. He was sitting at the kitchen table as I walked indoors and hung up my coat in the cupboard under the stairs.

He watched me without saying a word as I filled up the kettle and switched it on, "Josh I'm so sorry, I completely forgot about lunch until just now."

"Did David cook you something for lunch?" he asked, his face a mask showing no emotion.

"I heated up some soup for us."

"Clara, I know David needs you but please remember that I'm here for you too."

"David and I are both grieving and I think it helps to do so together. I'm struggling to come to terms with this," I said trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

"I know," he said quickly standing and holding me tightly, "I know sweetie."

He rocked me in his arms and I held on tight, thankful for his warmth.

"Maybe it's silly but I worry that David will take you away from me. You're spending so much time with him at the moment. I hardly see you."

"I'm sorry I've been neglecting you Josh_"

"You haven't," he said releasing me and lifting my chin with his hand so that I was looking into his eyes, "I'm grieving too, for her and for your loss, just don't push me away, okay?"

"Okay," I said nodding.

He leaned down to kiss me and I continued to cling to him, holding him tight. We separated, breathless, and I began to undo the buttons on my shirt.

"Are you sure_" he began.

"Yes," I said sounding more confident than I felt. My stomach was tight with nerves. I lead him upstairs to our bedroom.

Once undressed we held each other under the duvet and although it felt strange it was wonderful. We made love and Josh was so gentle and kind I felt tears sting my eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a worried expression on his face.

"Yes," I said blinking the tears away, "They're happy tears, I'm sorry I've..."

"It's okay," he smiled, his eyes shining, "I'm happy too, it's so long since we've been open with each other." 

"Too long."

Josh fell asleep still holding me in his arms and for a moment I smiled before I thought about David, all alone. I gently slipped out of Josh's arms and after dressing I headed to see David.

He was curled up on the lounge carpet sobbing. I knelt down and wrapped my arms around him.

"Shh," I said rocking him in my arms until he became calm.

"You're so much like her," he said stroking my fringe away from my face and pressing his lips gently to mine, "You're too much alike," he said and he began to sob again.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked confused and hurt.

He ran his thumb across my lips which were still throbbing from his kiss, "Yes, I think that would help."

"Okay, I said quickly standing up and leaving the house. As I ran the short distance back to Clara's house I cried, letting the tears run down my face and drip onto my clothes. I unlocked the door as quietly as I could and headed inside. Josh was sitting in the lounge.

"You went to him didn't you," Josh said with a sigh.

I nodded sadly, "I had to, I feel so guilty and sad for him. But he wants me to stay away, he thinks I'm too much like her."

"Do you want to be with me or not Clara?" he said standing up and taking hold of the tops of my arms, "I have to know because I feel a fool."

"I'm sorry Josh but I don't know," I cried, "I'm a mess, please give me some time."

He looked into my eyes for a few moments, "It's been six months Clara. I need to know if you want me or not. I'll go stay with my brother for a couple of days to give you time to decide what you want," he released my arms and walked upstairs. Ten minutes later he walked back down the stairs with a bag.

I felt my bottom lip begin to wobble and more tears spilled from my eyes as he pulled on his coat.

He frowned when he saw my face but he gently wiped the tears away with his hands and kissed me, "I'm sorry Clara, it's just that I need an honest answer. If you really need me, give me a call, otherwise I'll see you on Friday," he kissed me once more before picking up his bag and leaving. I heard his car engine start before he drove away.

I felt lost, with no one to speak to. I turned to a place I hadn't been since childhood, church and confession, where I told a priest the whole story. He didn't judge me in any way and I left with a sense of peace for the first time in six months. He gave me one piece of advice.

He said that the past is behind, that I should learn from it. The present is here. I should make a choice and live it.

I walked home deep in thought and after making a cup of tea I thought about my choices. I could choose to commit wholeheartedly to Josh. I could tell David the truth and hope that he would be willing to accept me back into his life. My third option was to move on with my life alone. I knew that whatever decision I made would be final.

***

I waited at the dining table for Josh on Friday afternoon. He came into the house and straight into the kitchen where he said, "Hello."

"Hi Josh," I said pointing to the seat opposite me.

He sat down and took my hand, "I've missed you," he said glancing into my eyes.

"I've missed you too," I said, "Did you have fun at your brother's?"

"I drove him crazy worrying about you," he said, his cheeks reddening slightly, "Have you been okay?"

"Yes I have thanks. You were right, I needed to make a decision. Would you like some tea?" I asked as I heard the kettle boil.

"Yes please," he said smiling before adding, "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, what is it?" I said as I walked over to the kettle and pored the tea.

"Can I kiss you one more time before you give me your answer? Just in case."

I felt him standing behind me and I turned around looking up into his eyes. He leaned down to kiss me, pulling me closer closing the space between us. He released me a few moments later saying, "Sorry, I didn't wait for your answer."

I smiled, "My answer would have been yes," I said before taking our drinks over to the table where we sat down opposite each other again.

I took a sip of tea before looking at Josh who was watching me nervously, "So what have you decided?"

"After much thought, my answer is yes I want to be with you Josh. However_"

"That doesn't sound like a yes," Josh said.

"Listen," I said stroking his hand, "I have to support David, he's my brother in law. You need to agree that you're happy for me to support him."

"I don't want you spending too much time with him alone, he'll get too attached to you and it's confusing for him. He told you that himself."

"So you'll agree to us supporting him together?"

Josh thought for a moment, "Okay, I'll agree to that."

"Good. I think we should invite him for dinner twice a week, and maybe to stay. He's not coping on his own."

"How about dinner tomorrow night and then we'll see how we feel, make a decision together?"

"Okay. You text him now."

"I'll do it quickly, because I need to kiss you and show you how happy I am about your decision," Josh grinned typing into his phone.

***

We settled into a routine where David would join us for dinner and spend the evening with us twice a week and sometimes he stayed in the spare room. We grieved together, the three of us. I felt myself beginning to heal, to accept the loss of my sister and husband. And I gained a boyfriend who also became my best friend. I was happy.

I returned to the church a year later where the same priest ushered me into a back room.

"I thought I would never see you again," he said, "You've been in my prayers."

"That's kind of you. I returned to thank you for your advice."

"I hope it helped you."

"It really helped. Saying thank you doesn't seem enough."

"It's plenty," he smiled, "I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, although I must say that you look happy, radiant even. It looks like you made the right choice."

"Thank you. I feel sure that I did, even though it wasn't easy," I said smiling.

"So who did you choose?" he asked and I whispered my answer into his ear.

"I see," he chuckled, "Good choice. Now let me walk you out," he said and he lead me through the church to the door, "You're always welcome if you need someone to talk to."

"Thank you," I said and I waved as I stepped out into the warm sunshine to where Josh was waiting for me.

"You all done?"

"Yes, thanks for waiting," I said wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.

Leaning back he said, "Have I told you how happy I am?"

"Oh just about everyday!" I laughed, "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"I love you too Mrs Hudson," he said kissing me again and linking his hand with mine. The diamond ring on my finger sparkled as the sun reflected off it.

The End.


Are you wondering what I said to the priest?

I told him that I chose to let go of the past, to live my life to the full and be happy. Life had given me a second chance and I had to grab it & hold on to it with both hands.