The Boy Next Door

My name is Rachel and I'm currently on the train from London Victoria to Brighton right now. It's the final part of a long journey because I live in Paris. I've lived there for five years working in a boutique selling designer clothes. I love my job, and I love Paris so I will miss it while I'm away but I have to see my parent's from time to time. It's their anniversary in 3 days so they are having a big party. I'm dreading it because my parent's best friends the Johnson's who live next door, and have done all my life will be there and their son Ben. Ben is two months younger than me. He and I were best friends all through our childhood until that summer. Our parent's always expected us to marry so it's an extremely awkward situation. They would be devastated if they knew we had fallen out so we keep up a ridiculous pretence whenever I come home. It's very tiring.

When we arrive in Brighton I head towards the back entrance of the station and see Ben's car. Oh merde! I can't do this I think but I know I have to. I walk over to him and say

"Hi" as I get into his car.
"Hi Rachel, I've missed you" he says
"Let's just get going" I reply
"Rachel please, I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me and let's be friends again" he pleads.

I hate it when he does this.

"No, we'll never be friends again, not after..." I cut of feeling a big lump in my throat.

He sighs and we head off home. Although it doesn't feel like home anymore. He ruined all that.

As we park both our parents rush out to welcome me.

"Trop" I mutter ( too much).
"Ils sont hereux de vous voir" Ben replies (they're happy to see you).

I'm surprised he remembers so much French. He hasn't been there since University as far as I'm aware.

"Je vous ai surpris? he asks smirking. (Have I surprised you).
"Va te faire foutre" (Fuck off)
"Hahaha" he laughs not getting the message.

Our parents look bemused, but hug me and we head indoors. Lunch is ready on the table so we sit straight down and start eating. Of course I am sat opposite Ben as usual, who winks at me. He really doesn't have a clue. I guess he probably doesn't realise how much I've changed though from the relaxed, happy girl I used to be.

The french really know how to enjoy food and go shopping every day for fresh food spending quite a lot. I've got into the same habit and love fresh, healthy food. The spread on the table looks wonderful. Lots of cold meat, salads and olives. We all fill our plates and tuck in.

"It's wonderful to see you" Mum says after we had finished our plates and were just picking at the masses of food left.
"You too Mum. It's lovely to see you too Dad. I've missed you both"
"Please don't leave it so long next time" My Dad responds.
"I promise I won't. So what do you guys want to do while I'm here?"
"Well we're busy with party organising tomorrow so we thought you could spend the day with Ben"
"Okay" I reply keeping my tone neutral. "But I can help with party planning if you like?"
"No don't worry, we just have to do the last bit of planning tomorrow" Mum replies.

We clear up lunch and then the Johnson's head home.

"See you tomorrow" Ben says as they head out the door.
"Can't wait"
"Porter quelque chose de gentil" he jokes (Wear something nice).
"N'ai-je pas toujours?" (Don't I always?).
"Oui, tu es belle" he replies winking (Yes, you are beautiful).

I sigh then, I really must avoid these flirty chats with him. I shouldn't have had so much wine at lunch.

"Everything okay with you two?" Dad asks
"Yes everything's fine Dad"
"I often wonder if we put too much pressure on you both, I'm glad you've made your own choices Rach and I'm glad you're still friends"
"Me too Dad, I love you" I say hugging him.
"Love you too darling"

I head upstairs to my old room which looks exactly the same as when I left three years ago. I unpack my belongings and put them all away. Then sit on my bed. I hear noise outside and have a look out the window. My room is in the back of the house so I can look out into the garden. I see Ben kicking a football around. I wonder why he never left home and if he even works. Our lives are so different now.

I grab my bag and head out of the front door and start walking down to the beach. The beach is the one thing I miss in Paris. It's wonderful to see the sea again. Brighton and Hove is always windy so my long brunette hair flies around and in front of my face. It feels wonderful so I keep walking all the way to the Pier. On the pier I buy a drink and sit down on one of the benches drinking it and enjoying the sea air.

As I sit there a girl comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder.

"Rachel?" she asks
"Jenna" I reply seeing her face "It's wonderful to see you"
"You too, it's been so long"
"How are you doing?"
"I'm good thanks, I'm engaged now" she says showing me her ring.
"That's beautiful, do I know him?"
"No, I met him at work, how long are you here?"
"Three weeks, it's my parent's anniversary tomorrow"
"Come to the wedding Rachel, it's next Friday"
"Is she going to be there?" I ask nervously.
"Yes she is" Jenna signs.
"I'd love to come but I can't handle seeing her. I'm so sorry"
"It's a shame, but don't worry" She changes the subject "So do you have a boyfriend?"
"No, I always seem to be single!"
"That's a shame! Anyway I have to go, lots to do, see you soon hopefully"
"Bye" I wave as she walks away.

*************************

The next day I wear a dress and ankle boots. Looking in the mirror I hope it's nice enough but I don't want to be overdressed.

"You look gorgeous" Dad says when I walk downstairs.
"Thanks Dad"

Just then Ben rings the doorbell so I grab my bag and head outside.

"Morning gorgeous" he says kissing my cheek.
"Morning Benjamin" I respond rolling my eyes "Where are you taking me today?"
"I thought we'd go to the Sea Life Centre and then take a tour around the Royal Pavillion!"
"You told me to dress up for that?" I reply shocked and annoyed.
"Well we're also going for dinner later!"
"Oh! Well let's go then"

We drive along the seafront and try to find a parking space.

"Would you ever move back here?" Ben asks.
"No I wouldn't"
"Why not"
"You know why" I reply and add "And I love my life in Paris"

He parks and then says

"We need to talk Rach"
"There's no point"

We get out of the car and Ben grabs my hands and says

"Seriously Rachel, we need to talk about this"
"Why, there's no point. It won't change anything"
"Come with me"

He walks and I have no choice but to follow as he has hold of my hand and won't let go. He heads onto the beach, right down close by the sea.

"Listen to me Rachel"
"I am"
"I'm sorry, I've never forgiven myself for hurting you"
"Why did you do it?" I ask quietly.
"I was an idiot, young and stupid. I should have known better".
"I just can't believe you slept with her, my best friend. I lost you and my best friend all in one day"
"I'm so sorry Rachel, I hate that I've hurt you" he said with tears running down his cheeks. "Please can you forgive me?"
No, I just can't Ben" I yell and walk away.
"Rachel" he shouts "Please!!"

Once I am out of his sight I can't stop the tears. I sit on the floor and let them flow. I remember how I went to Ben's house one day to see him and walked in on he and Joanne in bed together. It hurts so much to think about it. I always assumed Ben and I would be together forever. I put the image out of my mind as best I can. When I am sated I remember I can't go home because my parents will realise something is wrong so I decide to go to the Sea Life centre anyway. There are loads of kids running around so I can see that not many adults come here without children but it's so interesting.I love the sting rays floating above me in the tunnels. I stay there as long as I can before heading outside. Then I head to Macdonald's for some food. As I start walking back towards Hove and home I see Ben's car. I peer in the window and see him sitting there. He see's me, winds down the window and says

"Rachel, thank god you're okay, I was worried".
"I'm fine, can you take me home now, I don't want our parents to think something is wrong".
"Sure, get in" he paused. "Um Rach..."
"Don't, just don't"
"Okay" he sighs "I won't mention it again".
"Thank you"

He parks he car and he heads inside his parent's house while I head into my parent's house.

**************************

The next day I decide to wear another dress for Mum and Dad's party. I bring down my present and card for them down at breakfast.

"Happy Anniversary!
"Thanks Rachel" Dad says and gives me a big hug.
"Thanks Rachel" Mum says too.
"So when's everyone arriving?"
"Soon"

Just as she's putting the breakfast things in the dishwasher the doorbell goes.

"I'll get it" I say heading to the door.

It's the Johnson's. I welcome everyone in while trying to avoid eye contact with Ben.

"Bonjour Belle" He says (Morning beautiful).
"Bonjour Ben" I respond, my hackles rising.

We're fortunate with the weather so everyone sits outside while I hang around indoors waiting for guests to arrive.

Suddenly I feel Ben close to me and he wraps his arms around me. He must have sneaked inside.

"Let me go" I say.
"No" he responds kissing my neck. He moves up to kiss my mouth and I can't help responding.
"Forgive me" he says. "Tell me you'll be my girlfriend".
"No, you'll hurt me again" I say angrily..
"I promise I won't. I've regretted what I did everyday since. I won't make the same mistake again"
"I can't trust you"
"Just try, please" he pleads.
"I want to but I'm just not sure I can"
"Please try, I miss you so much"
"Okay" I say quietly
"Thank you Rachel, I won't make you regret it"

He kisses me again and again and it's wonderful. I've missed being close to him so much.

"Je t'aime" he says (I love you).