Memories

Cherishing memories as they slowly fade

Will he forget me one day?

My heart aches as I see him suffer

I cling to my rock, to hope

Fleeting phone calls, expressing love

Across the world, so far away

Salty tears flow down my face

As I cry, please don't forget me.

The Grosvenor Twins Part 2

"Morning," Josh said turning on the bedside lamp in our bedroom, "I've made you breakfast."

"Thanks Josh," I said sitting up in bed and running my hands through my messy long hair to tidy it.

"You look perfect," he said kissing me on my cheek and sitting the tray on my lap, "Eat up. By the way I'm working from home today, shall we have lunch together?"

"Sounds good," I said taking a bite of toast and wondering if I would make it back from David's by then.

Waking up was always strange, I felt fine until a few moments later I would remember how I had lost my sister and grief would hit me, a physical pain in my heart. Some days I only felt anger towards my twin who had suggested 'one last prank' and had died leaving me to sort out the mess. Clara and I had swapped places in each other's lives a day before she carelessly crossed the road without looking and had been killed almost instantly.

I had seen no solution to the situation I was stuck in when Clara died, I was stuck in the role of Josh's girlfriend so I grieved for the loss of my husband as well as my sister. I spend most of my time with David though, and we grieving together as well as going through my belongings. Clara and David had never been close but he grew close with the girl he thought was Clara. It broke my heart to see him hurting but as his sister in law I could comfort him and help him. And I wouldn't lose him from my life.

I ate the breakfast that Josh had made me and after a shower I walked to David's house. That morning we listened to my favourite music as we went through, and mostly threw out, books. I remembered, only as I arrived back home early that evening, Josh suggesting us having lunch together. He was sitting at the kitchen table as I walked indoors and hung up my coat in the cupboard under the stairs.

He watched me without saying a word as I filled up the kettle and switched it on, "Josh I'm so sorry, I completely forgot about lunch until just now."

"Did David cook you something for lunch?" he asked, his face a mask showing no emotion.

"I heated up some soup for us."

"Clara, I know David needs you but please remember that I'm here for you too."

"David and I are both grieving and I think it helps to do so together. I'm struggling to come to terms with this," I said trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

"I know," he said quickly standing and holding me tightly, "I know sweetie."

He rocked me in his arms and I held on tight, thankful for his warmth.

"Maybe it's silly but I worry that David will take you away from me. You're spending so much time with him at the moment. I hardly see you."

"I'm sorry I've been neglecting you Josh_"

"You haven't," he said releasing me and lifting my chin with his hand so that I was looking into his eyes, "I'm grieving too, for her and for your loss, just don't push me away, okay?"

"Okay," I said nodding.

He leaned down to kiss me and I continued to cling to him, holding him tight. We separated, breathless, and I began to undo the buttons on my shirt.

"Are you sure_" he began.

"Yes," I said sounding more confident than I felt. My stomach was tight with nerves. I lead him upstairs to our bedroom.

Once undressed we held each other under the duvet and although it felt strange it was wonderful. We made love and Josh was so gentle and kind I felt tears sting my eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a worried expression on his face.

"Yes," I said blinking the tears away, "They're happy tears, I'm sorry I've..."

"It's okay," he smiled, his eyes shining, "I'm happy too, it's so long since we've been open with each other." 

"Too long."

Josh fell asleep still holding me in his arms and for a moment I smiled before I thought about David, all alone. I gently slipped out of Josh's arms and after dressing I headed to see David.

He was curled up on the lounge carpet sobbing. I knelt down and wrapped my arms around him.

"Shh," I said rocking him in my arms until he became calm.

"You're so much like her," he said stroking my fringe away from my face and pressing his lips gently to mine, "You're too much alike," he said and he began to sob again.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked confused and hurt.

He ran his thumb across my lips which were still throbbing from his kiss, "Yes, I think that would help."

"Okay, I said quickly standing up and leaving the house. As I ran the short distance back to Clara's house I cried, letting the tears run down my face and drip onto my clothes. I unlocked the door as quietly as I could and headed inside. Josh was sitting in the lounge.

"You went to him didn't you," Josh said with a sigh.

I nodded sadly, "I had to, I feel so guilty and sad for him. But he wants me to stay away, he thinks I'm too much like her."

"Do you want to be with me or not Clara?" he said standing up and taking hold of the tops of my arms, "I have to know because I feel a fool."

"I'm sorry Josh but I don't know," I cried, "I'm a mess, please give me some time."

He looked into my eyes for a few moments, "It's been six months Clara. I need to know if you want me or not. I'll go stay with my brother for a couple of days to give you time to decide what you want," he released my arms and walked upstairs. Ten minutes later he walked back down the stairs with a bag.

I felt my bottom lip begin to wobble and more tears spilled from my eyes as he pulled on his coat.

He frowned when he saw my face but he gently wiped the tears away with his hands and kissed me, "I'm sorry Clara, it's just that I need an honest answer. If you really need me, give me a call, otherwise I'll see you on Friday," he kissed me once more before picking up his bag and leaving. I heard his car engine start before he drove away.

I felt lost, with no one to speak to. I turned to a place I hadn't been since childhood, church and confession, where I told a priest the whole story. He didn't judge me in any way and I left with a sense of peace for the first time in six months. He gave me one piece of advice.

He said that the past is behind, that I should learn from it. The present is here. I should make a choice and live it.

I walked home deep in thought and after making a cup of tea I thought about my choices. I could choose to commit wholeheartedly to Josh. I could tell David the truth and hope that he would be willing to accept me back into his life. My third option was to move on with my life alone. I knew that whatever decision I made would be final.

***

I waited at the dining table for Josh on Friday afternoon. He came into the house and straight into the kitchen where he said, "Hello."

"Hi Josh," I said pointing to the seat opposite me.

He sat down and took my hand, "I've missed you," he said glancing into my eyes.

"I've missed you too," I said, "Did you have fun at your brother's?"

"I drove him crazy worrying about you," he said, his cheeks reddening slightly, "Have you been okay?"

"Yes I have thanks. You were right, I needed to make a decision. Would you like some tea?" I asked as I heard the kettle boil.

"Yes please," he said smiling before adding, "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, what is it?" I said as I walked over to the kettle and pored the tea.

"Can I kiss you one more time before you give me your answer? Just in case."

I felt him standing behind me and I turned around looking up into his eyes. He leaned down to kiss me, pulling me closer closing the space between us. He released me a few moments later saying, "Sorry, I didn't wait for your answer."

I smiled, "My answer would have been yes," I said before taking our drinks over to the table where we sat down opposite each other again.

I took a sip of tea before looking at Josh who was watching me nervously, "So what have you decided?"

"After much thought, my answer is yes I want to be with you Josh. However_"

"That doesn't sound like a yes," Josh said.

"Listen," I said stroking his hand, "I have to support David, he's my brother in law. You need to agree that you're happy for me to support him."

"I don't want you spending too much time with him alone, he'll get too attached to you and it's confusing for him. He told you that himself."

"So you'll agree to us supporting him together?"

Josh thought for a moment, "Okay, I'll agree to that."

"Good. I think we should invite him for dinner twice a week, and maybe to stay. He's not coping on his own."

"How about dinner tomorrow night and then we'll see how we feel, make a decision together?"

"Okay. You text him now."

"I'll do it quickly, because I need to kiss you and show you how happy I am about your decision," Josh grinned typing into his phone.

***

We settled into a routine where David would join us for dinner and spend the evening with us twice a week and sometimes he stayed in the spare room. We grieved together, the three of us. I felt myself beginning to heal, to accept the loss of my sister and husband. And I gained a boyfriend who also became my best friend. I was happy.

I returned to the church a year later where the same priest ushered me into a back room.

"I thought I would never see you again," he said, "You've been in my prayers."

"That's kind of you. I returned to thank you for your advice."

"I hope it helped you."

"It really helped. Saying thank you doesn't seem enough."

"It's plenty," he smiled, "I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, although I must say that you look happy, radiant even. It looks like you made the right choice."

"Thank you. I feel sure that I did, even though it wasn't easy," I said smiling.

"So who did you choose?" he asked and I whispered my answer into his ear.

"I see," he chuckled, "Good choice. Now let me walk you out," he said and he lead me through the church to the door, "You're always welcome if you need someone to talk to."

"Thank you," I said and I waved as I stepped out into the warm sunshine to where Josh was waiting for me.

"You all done?"

"Yes, thanks for waiting," I said wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.

Leaning back he said, "Have I told you how happy I am?"

"Oh just about everyday!" I laughed, "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"I love you too Mrs Hudson," he said kissing me again and linking his hand with mine. The diamond ring on my finger sparkled as the sun reflected off it.

The End.


Are you wondering what I said to the priest?

I told him that I chose to let go of the past, to live my life to the full and be happy. Life had given me a second chance and I had to grab it & hold on to it with both hands.

2013

I was thinking about the year yesterday and I woke up early today to scribble a poem idea down. I haven't been able to write since my Grandma passed away so it made me happy to feel inspired to write something.

As 2013 comes to an end
And I reflect on the year
There have been fun times
lots of concerts
I've met all of my favourite singers
and many of my dreams have been realised
The year has also brought sad times
I lost both of my grandparents
one very recent
and I miss them dearly
My Dad's health is worsening quickly
So it's been a year of ups and downs
That's the way life always seems to be
Still, I will look forward to 2014
I will continue to dream and plan to make my dreams come true
I will make the most of the good times
And try to find peace during the bad times
And I will do my best to accept the things that I cannot change

The Grosvenor Twins

I haven't written many stories recently as I've been busy doing a writing course. However I felt like being creative today.

The identical Grosvenor twins Sarah and Clara had been playing pranks since they could speak. Things had changed since Sarah had married.

"No Clara," Sarah said forcefully looking at her identical twin.

"Come on Sarah, one last prank. I won't ask again, we're adults now."

Sarah sighed, she was happy with her life, she didn't want to mess around. She also wanted to be close to her sister who she had drifted away from since she had married, "Okay."

"Yes," Clara said happily, "So we'll switch for one week. For the last time"

"A whole week?"

"Yes."

"But your boyfriend would want to have sex."

"So what? So would your husband."

"But I want to stay true to my vows."

"Just put him off, it shouldn't be difficult for a week and Josh wouldn't notice a difference."

"Come on, he would and so would David."

"If they notice, we'll swap back."

Sarah groaned.

"You agreed to do this Sarah, are you really telling me your so happy with your life that you don't you want a change?"

"Yes I'm happy with my life Clar. I'll do it for you though."

So they agreed to swap places the next afternoon. They met for lunch in town and swapped clothes and bags in the toilets before heading to their homes. They agreed to meet at the same cafe the next day to debrief.

Sarah was nervous as she opened the door to Clara's house and said "Hi."

"Hi gorgeous," said Clara's boyfriend Josh and he leaned in to kiss her.

She kissed him back but felt sick when she thought about her wedding vows and she already missed David like crazy.

"Hey, what's wrong Clara?" he said noticing the tears shining in her eyes.

"Oh nothing, I'm just tired."

"Come and sit down, dinner's ready."

"Thanks honey," said Sarah imitating how Clara spoke to Josh and they sat down to eat.

Sarah was impressed with Josh, he was kind and generous towards his girlfriend. However she was tense all evening, and felt a sense of relief, and a different kind of worry, when it was time for bed.

She changed into Clara's bed clothes and climbed into bed, ignoring the sight of Josh stripping off. He climbed into bed a moment later in his boxer shorts. 

"Goodnight," he said and kissed her. She felt his hot breath on her face and he pushed his warm tongue into her mouth. Pulling back he asked, "Do you want to...?"

"Not tonight." She said, "Sorry."

"It's okay darling, sleep well."

Sarah turned over to sleep but Josh immediately closed the gap between them, spooning her and holding her hand. She kept her eyes open for over an hour waiting for him to fall asleep and move but he continued to spoon her and hold her hand as he slept. She couldn't understand why Clara wanted to switch places when she had a wonderful, thoughtful man at home. Finally she fell asleep dreaming of David but for some reason she couldn't reach him.

The next lunchtime, after working in the morning she walked to the cafe to meet Clara, planning to tell her that the prank needed to end. She waited outside and waved as she saw her sister. For some reason Clara ran across the road completely recklessly and time slowed for Sarah as she saw the van hit her sister and knock her over the bonnet.

Screaming, she ran to her sister, whose blood was making a puddle across the road.

"Oh Clara, Clara no," she cried over and over.

An ambulance arrived a few minutes later as well as the police. They tried to speak to her but she just wasn't capable of speaking logically. Clara died on the cold ground as the paramedics worked on her. Sarah just felt numb as her precious sister stopped breathing. They kept asking her, what's her name? Where does she live? But Sarah couldn't think, let alone respond.

They took her sister to the hospital where David and Josh were waiting, having been called by the police on Sarah's phone. She ran to them, and they all cried together for a long time. Eventually Josh pulled her into his arms. She cried harder longing to be in her husband's arms, to comfort him and tell him that she was still alive. But how could she explain it to them. They would both be angry and Josh's heart would break. Sarah looked between them trying desperately to find a solution. Finally she realised that this prank would have to continue. Forever.

Alison's Morals

"What are you?" she yelled breathing deeply as she ran.
He flew over her head and came to a sudden stop in front of her.
"Why do you care? You'll be dead soon"
"I do care" she responded bravely holding her chin high "I know you're not human"
"No, I'm not human" he chuckled watching her with his dark red eyes.
"You're beautiful though" she muttered.
"Hmm, some of you humans are quite interesting. I will keep you I think. Let's hope I can control myself"

He lunged at her neck knocking her to the ground and drinking. He managed to stop drinking just in time and he cut her wrists and ankles letting the venom travel into her blood stream cutting off the flow of blood.

"You're going to be perfect" he said picking her up in his arms and running back to his home, a house at the edge of a small village backing onto a forest.

She just began to scream in pain as he carried her inside. He laid her on a bed and left her. He remembered himself how painful the change from human to vampire was for him.

Three days later she opened her bright red, changed eyes. She leapt up from the bed and stared at him.

"What have you done to me?"
"You're a vampire now" he replied taken aback by her beauty.
"A vampire?" she responded as she admired herself.
"What's your name?"
"I'm Joseph, you?"
"Alison"
"We'll go hunting soon when it becomes dark. You're thirsty?"
She reached up gripping her throat with her hands.
"I thought so" he laughed "Go change your clothes. In that room there" he said pointing towards a closed door.
She found herself at the door a moment after the thought. She opened it almost wrenching it off it's hinges. She walked inside.

"Don't break my house" Joseph said chuckling.
"Don't tempt me" she muttered shutting the door behind her.
"Ha ha I was right, I'm glad I saved you"
"Right about what?" she reappeared from the room wearing a full length red dress.
"You're interesting. And beautiful"
She appeared at his side a moment later and stared into his eyes "Tell me, you feed on humans?"
"Yes, of course"
"Do you regret all the human death you've caused?"
"No, they are our food source"
"And you chose to change me into a monster without asking me first"
"A monster?" he queried frowning "But you're beautiful. You can live forever now"
"A monster because of the prey I have to feed from" she said touching her neck again "My own kind"
"You would have preferred to die?"
"Hmm I'm not sure about that. I feel amazing like this. Strong and powerful"
"Let's stop talking then and hunt" he said grabbing hold of her hand and leading her into the forest,
"Were are we going?" Alison asked.
"To find some food" he whispered as they ran "We have to be discrete"

They ran for miles until they suddenly came to the edge of the forest. Alison felt the burning in her throat as she smelled the humans walking around close to them.

Joseph disappeared before returning a moment later with a man lying unconscious in his arms. He lay him on the ground and told Alison to drink.

"No. I can't do this"
"What's wrong with you? Drink" he commanded.
She refused, holding her nose to resist the smell while he drank the man dry.

"Find some food yourself" he told her as he walked away into the dense forest leaving her there.

She wandered through the forest realising that her sense of smell had developed. She noticed that some animals smelled a little like food too. Not as delicious as the human smell but close. She followed the smell until she was close to them. They were wolves. She lunged for the largest and sank her teeth into it's neck. It died quickly and she drank until the animal was empty. The burn in her throat eased.

She suddenly noticed that she had an audience and she crouched defensively.

"Peace" replied the vampire "We spotted you and your maker earlier. You seem to have strong morals for a new born. We only eat, or should I say drink, animals too. See that our eyes are yellow, rather than red"

Alison could see the vampire's eyes were indeed a different colour to Joseph's.

"I believe you. What do you want from me?"

"Join us" responded the woman stepping forward.

"Why? I don't know you"

"You might find it easier sticking to your morals with others who do the same"

"I can't leave Joseph. I love him"

"We understand"

"I have to return to him. He became exasperated with me and left. I would love to get to know you better. Will I see you both again?"

"We would like that very much" They said introducing themselves as Elizabeth and Henry "See you soon"

Alison back to Joseph's home and entered through the back door.

"Joseph, I'm back"

"In here" he called and she headed into the lounge.

"You found some food in the end?" he asked looking at her suspiciously.

"Yes I did" she said choosing not to enlighten him.

"Come closer" he said "You really are beautiful Alison"

She felt as if her heart were pounding although that wasn't physically possible.

They kissed, and Alison ran her hands through his thick dark hair eagerly. They ripped the clothes from one another rejoicing in the feeling of skin against skin.

"I can't imagine ever not wanting to be with you" Alison said as they made love again.

"I feel the same"

They continued getting to know each other over the next couple of days and Alison marvelled at the fact that she never felt tired or any need to sleep. Her only worry was Joseph finding out her secret as she could feel the burn in her throat gradually increase as the days passed.

"Are you getting thirsty again?" Joseph tracing a line down her throat with his finger.

"Maybe a little bit"

"Let's go feed then" he said standing up from the bed and pulling her with him.

Alison went into the walk in wardrobe to dress saying "You go, I'll feed another time"

"What is the problem" he asked as she left the room. He grabbed hold of her hand and they ran to the the edge of the forest as before.

"Go get yourself some food"

"No, I'm not really hungry" she shrugged hoping he wouldn't see the anxiety she felt.

"Why are you so reluctant to feed?"

"I was worried about telling you" she admitted.

"Telling me what?" he shouted.

"That I fed on an animal"

"Ha ha you stuck to your morals then. We'll see how long that lasts" he laughed again.

He ran to find food while Alison slowly calmed herself. She ran slowly smelling the scent of the animals nearby.

She could smell deer which she stalked before throwing herself onto one of them and ripping it's throat. She guzzled the warm blood and soon the deer was empty. Then a different smell, a smell that she could not ignore hit her.

She ran towards it, nothing could stop her. It was Joseph. He stood watching calmly as the human's blood poured onto the ground.

"What are you doing?" she spat, not breathing.

"Proving a point"

"I will not feed from a human" she told him using the last of her air. She started to run, afraid to breath again until she was far from the smell of the human. But she discovered something amazing. That she had no need to breath at all.

She tried to distract herself from going back as she ran.

"You have amazing will power" said Henry as he stepped out from behind a tree.

"Hmm" she mumbled afraid to breath.

"It's okay, the smell is very faint from here"

Alison breathed carefully. "Thank you. I don't know what to do. I won't last long on animals if he continues to tempt me like this"

"You may come to live with my wife and I. I've always wanted a daughter"

"Daughter. I would like that" Alison said "But I love Joseph"

"He can come too but he would have to stop feeding on people" he said.

"I don't think he will do that" responded Alison sadly "You saw what he was doing to me"

"Let me show you where we live. You can always return to him if you are not happy"

"Thank you Henry. I will come with you"

It was time to start the next chapter of her life.

9/11

Does it feel like 12 years have passed
Since that terrible day

I remember the shock of hearing the news
rushing to find a television and witnessing
The towers smoking and alight with flame.

Those brave firefighters rushing into the towers
as people rushed out.

The whole of New York coated with white ash
as the buildings burned on.

The whole world mourned those lost
and we still remember them
all these years later
with eyes glistening with tears.

We will not forget.

Tyler James

She slapped him hard across his face. At least she wanted to. She would have to daydream the violent feelings towards him unless she wanted to be arrested.

"I'm sorry madam we can't find the items you paid for. We will find them as soon as we can and give you a call"
"Call this a service" she said shaking her head and picking up the laptop she had bought from the shop the previous day"
"It's not always like this" said the young man serving her.
"Well I certainly won't be coming back to find out" she said walking out of the shop.

She found a local Starbucks and sat calming herself with a cup of coffee. The door opened and in walked the singer Tyler James. She first saw the quiff and knowing no one had a quiff like his she smiled and stood up waving to him!

He waved back and motioned that he would get a drink and come over so she sat down. He came over a few minutes later and sat opposite her.

"Hi Tyler" she said shyly "Do you remember me from Astonbury?"
"Of course Lisa, nice to see you again"
"You've really cheered up my day, you know"
"Thanks Lisa, it was lovely to see you. I guess I'd better go now" and he stood up.
"Tyler_"
"Yes?" he said turning around.
"I've missed your hugs, could I have a hug?"
"Of course" he said smiling and held out his arms which she walked into.
"Thank you" she said still not letting go of him and subtly smelling his aftershave"

Eventually she let him go and after a picture he left with his coffee.